rachelle.net

I always eat my “naturally and artificially flavored” chocolate chip granola bars with a pile of chocolate shavings for breakfast. Doesn’t everyone?

I also don’t get why they allow advertisements for tobacco alternative on the quit smoking forums….

Today is okay, even though I ate a bowl of Macaroni and Cheese (it DOES taste as good as thin feels), I am not beating myself up. As long as I didn’t eat the whole box….I think it’ll be okay.

One last thought for the day: “Warding off regrets. Wasting your time smoking cigarettes. Wasting your time…” I am sure when Green Day wrote those lines, they weren’t referencing the junkie thinking of a smoker (you’d get that too from a read of the entire song), but it sure seems apropos.

I’m really struggling today. Woke up crabby and it’s just gotten worse from there. First, I spilled half my cereal. Now, if you have ever had a NS cereal, you’d know why this is a big deal. Next, I realized the DH left the file he kindly brought home for me to work on (even though I still had a week left to be off)…it had to be back at the office today. When he came home to get it, he brought even more work for me. I know he’s just trying to help, but for some reason it really pisses me off. Then, I decide to eat lunch and I tumble several little containers out of the pantry an onto my head. I heat up the one I ultimately chose and when I opened it up it had the consistency of snot. I can’t eat it. I decide to try the new yogurt — it tastes like pure poison (aka Splenda). Ick.

I want to buy a pack of smokes. I chose, instead, to take a bunch of my smoker’s vitamins to see if that helps. But what I really would like is to go back to being a fat and happy smoker.

I did it again! I made chicken, wild rice and green beans for the fam tonight and thought to myself that it was similar to a NS meal, so I’ll just eat with them…Guess I was wrong?! I signed up for Fit Day today and when I looked up the calories it was over 600! Then I realized I was using the wrong serving size and it dropped to 300. *Whew!* I am still under 1200…but I feel awful for not being 100%.

I am having a mental issue with the dieting I think.

Today I have been 100% NS. I am totally starving though! I have got to find a way to get my mind around this. It’s not like when I quit smoking…at least in that case, I would have to get in the car and drive to a store to get a pack of smokes to cheat (except for that one still in my closet….). All I have to do here is go in the pantry and grab a cookie (or 12). My hope is that when I go back to work, it will get easier.

EDIT: All right…I cheated. I ate 1/2 of a chicken burger and a tater tot. What is wrong with me?

I’m back! We had a good time in Chelan. There were two days that were rainy, but for the most part, it was fun in the sun. I am totally buying a boat for next year! I didn’t bring NutraSystem with me nor did I even try to stick to any diet. This morning I weighed in at 181, so a 5 pound gain. 🙁 It could have been worse! This is so depressing. I saw a picture of myself and I looked like a beached whale. If I am not at goal by next year, I won’t go. If anything, I am committed to 100% NS from now on … I have a month’s worth of food in the cupboard and my replacements came while I was away, so I am set for at least 5 weeks, not to mention that my auto-order comes in a couple weeks. I’ll have NS food coming out of my ears.

Any way, my mini-goal will be 151 by the first week of December, which is my birthday week. That’s 30 pounds to lose in 15 weeks! Yikes. If I can do that, then I am below my old “normal” weight and will fit into my clothes. I will also be just 11 pounds shy of goal. This is getting serious people! That’s right.

As for smoking, I put together a blog site for the June Brigade before I left. I hope it becomes a fun way to keep in touch. Today I have been quit for 2 Months, 1 Week, 1 Day (69 days). I have saved $355.74 by not smoking 1,381 cigarettes. I have saved 4 Days, 19 hours and 5 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 6/17/2007 8:00 AM. It was really hard to stay quit this week as I really really wanted to smoke. I did it though.